Tips, Scripts, and a Free Printable to Make Wedding Thank You Note Writing Way Easier
Let's face it: writing wedding thank you notes can be overwhelming and procrastination-inducing. You've just spent months (and months and months) planning and preparing for your wedding, and now that it's over, it's natural for you to want a major break from all things wedding-related.
But seriously, despite how we're always saying there's really nothing you HAVE to do and no rule you MUST follow when it comes to weddings, here's an instance where common kindness and gratitude win out over our "no-rules" attitude. So we'll just come right out and say it: you absolutely have to express your gratitude in a heartfelt and meaningful way, and that heartfelt and meaningful way should require the expenditure of effort on your part.
You might be thinking, “But I said thanks at the wedding.” Well that’s great and we’re very glad you did that, but you still need to send a note. (If note-writing isn’t your forte, think about what is. Maybe you and your new spouse want to create personalized thank you videos for your guests. If they’re specific and heartfelt, by all means rock those videos. And if you do, much of the advice below still applies.)
Whether you’re writing or video-ing your notes (or doing something else entirely), here are our top tips, plus five thank you scripts you can borrow:
Order your thank you notes early.
That way, you have them on hand for any gifts that come in before the wedding (including engagement gifts, shower gifts, and early wedding gifts), and you can’t forget to order them in your post-wedding haze. We've got a whole lot of thank you notes available here, and every single one of our wedding suites has a coordinating thank you note, too.
Get some ballpoint pens.
Unless you’re a total pen addict and have a favorite pen already and just have to use that very pen, get some simple ballpoint pens. You can get these anywhere, often in packs of ten. We like these super-basic pens because no matter the paper you’re writing on, they typically don’t smear. That leaves your notes unblemished and your hands clean.
Stock up on stamps, too.
Believe us when we tell you: if you write a stack of notes but then you have to take them to the post office before you can send them, you’re gonna sit on those notes for awhile. Have the stamps on hand and then you can write them, stamp them, and put them in your outgoing mail right that moment.
Make a gift log and keep it handy. (Need one? We've got one for you.)
The moment you receive a gift, log it. If you need a gift log, we’ve got you covered with a download-and-print log that includes space for the name of the giver, information about the gift received, a spot to note the date you got it, and a spot to check off when the note has been sent.
The sooner you write your thank you notes, the better.
Our founder's mom's rule when she was a kid was a very good one and definitely one you can rely on: write the thank you note before you cash the check or use the gift. We promise, your urge to cash grandma’s check or to open a bottle of wine with your fancy new wine opener will push you to write those thank you notes.
If you’d rather have a specific deadline for note-writing, the general rule of thumb is this: For gifts received before the wedding, you should write thank you notes within two weeks of receiving the gift. For gifts received at or after the wedding, you should write your notes within three months. IF YOU MISS THESE DEADLINES, for goodness sake, write the note anyway. Late is better than never.
OK so now you're ready to start writing. The best notes are personal and sincere, but that doesn't mean they aren't also formulaic. You should try to include a greeting, a note of thanks for attending the wedding (if applicable), a mention of the specific gift received (leaving out monetary amounts — simply writing “your generous gift” is sufficient for cash gifts), a detail about how or where the gift will be used, and a final word of thanks before signing off. Need some scripts to follow? We’ve got you covered:
For cash gifts, avoid specifying dollar amounts, but do mention the generous gift and how you plan to use it. Try something like this:
For physical gifts selected from your registry, mention the gift and how you plan to use it. How about something in this vein:
For physical gifts not on the registry, mention the gift and how you plan to use it and if applicable, thank the giver for their creativity or ingenuity. For example:
For people who attended your wedding but did not give a gift, it’s nice of you to send a note thanking the guests for their attendance. Try this:
For group gifts, unless the individuals in the group all live together, send each member of the group an individual thank you note.
It’s best to mention the others in the group so that everyone knows that YOU know the gift was from the group. You might try a note something like this: