How to keep your wedding from snowballing, no guru needed
I promise promise promise you we’re not going to get too frou-frou on you here and tell you to start meditating about your wedding or asking the universe to help you manifest whatever whatever whatever. That sounds weird and kind of hard.
That said, I (Julie Green, the girl who up and started this whole elopement-centered Skipt thing) was talking recently to a couple that’s engaged and we were talking about how quickly wedding planning just builds momentum and heft and weight and before you know it, it can be this whole thing that you don’t feel like you even really made happen.
And I told that couple that probably the best way to deal with that snowball phenomenon is to sit down together and set intentions for the wedding. (I also highly recommend you set some intentions for the marriage, but that’s another post for another day.)
I know. Setting intentions. It’s the kind of thing your guru would tell you to do, if you had a guru, which I’m guessing you don’t.
But all I really mean by “setting intentions” is getting clear together on the big picture stuff like:
- How do you want to feel while planning your wedding?
- How do you want to feel on the day of your wedding?
- How do you want any guests you invite to feel?
- What is the “point” of a wedding, to you?
Why set intentions for your wedding or elopement?
Because it gives you clarity when it comes time to make decisions, and decisions are pretty much the sum-total of wedding planning. Knowing that you want your wedding to be peaceful will help you when it comes time to choose your venue, your music (if any), your guest list. Or knowing that you want to create a wedding that is focused on family will help you when it comes time to write a ceremony, say, or plan a toast.
In other words, setting intentions for your wedding and for how you plan that wedding will help you establish priorities and set boundaries.
How to set intentions
Usually the phrase “intention-setting” is uttered within five words of the word meditation, but when it comes time to setting an intention for your wedding, the key is to talk it through with your spouse-to-be. Go for a walk, pour a glass (or three) of wine, turn off the lights and talk in the dark — however you do it, try to take some time to jointly daydream about your wedding. Come up with a vision. And then write it down so that you always have it to return to.
No joke. Write your intentions down.
Typically, intention-setters write their intentions in positive terms (“we will” instead of “we will not”), but whatever works for you is a-ok.
Need some ideas?
Here are some intentions we’ve heard from other people, and some we invented ourselves (note that these are not intended to work together as several of them are counter to others):
- We will not do anything just because a website or wedding book tells us we have to
- Our wedding will focus on our love and friendship
- Our wedding will be about the community aspects of love, weddings, and marriage and will incorporate our close friends and cherished family members
- We will allow people to help us whenever possible
- We will not allow anyone else to decide what we do before, during, or after our wedding
- Our wedding will feel like a party
- Our wedding will feel intimate
- We will plan a wedding that is relaxed enough for us to enjoy it in the moment
- We will plan a wedding that we feel comfortable with - nothing we don’t feel comfortable with like walking down an aisle
Have you set intentions for your wedding? If so, we’d love to hear in the comments!